Friday, 20 April 2012

No Musical Expression

Which words can I use to describe how I feel about NME magazine, or any music magazine in all honesty? Let me have a quick burst on these little springy plastic cubes.... scum, cunts, lying swine, childish, lame, fake, tired, dead, insulting, nothing, dying culture... just a few combos there. I've never been a fan of music mags, I never bought into it because it never felt real enough for me, but when your own musical reality crosses paths with such a first-rate-dumb-ass-whore-culture-rag, well, you can't help but go to war with the vile bitches. War is never a straight-forward thing, it's complex, it's corrupt, it's dirty and people often go crazy. But, sometimes, the safest place to be during a war is in the psychiatric ward of the base hospital, which is where I'm currently operating from. I might be crazy, but I know that I mean it when I say I'm sick TO FUCKING DEATH of dumb fucking poser whores, I always have been sick to the back teeth of hipster retards and their offensive sewage. For a while I've been almost unsure of my mission. Is there anything left worth fighting against? Is there anything worth fighting for? Well, you know, I think I'm getting back to where I should be, a place where truth is a weapon and ignorance and falseness can be snapped and squashed by those who know the right kind of moves.

Let's face the facts. I'm an equally capable / possibly slightly more gifted musician than most people in most bands, on most instruments. I'm also a far more interesting writer than the majority of journalists and... I'm a fucking full-on psychopath. OK? Are you still with me? Are you paralysed with dread? I'm drinking wine and it's ten past nine (am). Let's put the inspiration behind this article to bed. Me and Sarah have been working our arses off, in various ways, over the last few years, to create something which ties independent music, independent business and NON-CONFORMIST attitudes together. We explore the dangerous, risky, possibly truly 'free' elements of human creativity, yet we have been painfully overlooked by the BIG GUNS. Now, I'm no Nazi, please, go ahead and embrace the revolting popular retardation, suck up the regurgitation, lick the lies out...sleep soundly in the illusion. Goodnight. Amen...
Who needs publicity? Huh? Not me, I'm perfectly happy being a widely (narrowly) revered / hated / misunderstood cult figure - FUCK THAT WANK. I'm here for the good of the human spirit, you lazy little sluts. NME is not a big player any more, no doubt about that, but it still has REACH, a genuine possibility of connecting a substantial amount of young readers to fantastic happenings and worthwhile entertainment with real edge and intelligence. My main issue is when you treat your impressionable readers like they're thick, well, they will either remain thick or possibly move on to other sources of cultural information, leaving only the dumb and deluded behind. The NME club has shrunk and will KEEP SHRINKING unless it attempts to expose its readers to the hard stuff, the real deal...the future.

Regardless of this quixotic spewing, I have always thought of NME as a SCUM RAG. I bought it a handful of times in my teens and that's it. I was a Radiohead fan, OK? When I see Radiohead fans now, fuck, it makes my skin crawl, but they can't help it, can they? Just like 'music journalists' such as Amy Sumner can't help their passionately dull loyalty to safety, NME readers, Radiohead fans, shit, KASABIAN fans, will not abandon their childish delusions, they will not escape from THE COMFORT ZONE. Maybe I'm just really sick? Maybe I'm just totally, desperately wrong. Even though I despise the NME with my entire soul, wouldn't it be better, for everyone concerned, if the recent 'article' depicting Birmingham's new music scene actually bothered to mention, name check, fuck it, even utterly slate the "Perhower" movement? We gave that spineless slag a chance to come and witness a GENUINELY INDEPENDENT music scene (for free), which not only transcended generations, not only ran its own bar (with bar manager / licencee, Sarah Fleming, also playing both drums and bass on stage, drawing upon years of top notch musical education and experience) and not only brought together a small number of great musicians and grateful fans alike, it created something utterly fresh and REAL in these desperate times. Sumner's review of the show in the mind-numbing 'Brum Notes' magazine was minuscule kudos at best. She couldn't even bring herself to discuss the real heart of the thing. What kind of fucking awful journalist doesn't even bother to talk to you, (me) THE BRAINS... at the show? The same goes for her 'piece' in the NME on the West Midlands music "renaissance". Despite rightly name-checking that fine bunch of players known currently as "Bombers", the rest of it, for me, reads like a snub... a shallow, gutless, typical dippy indie slag going on about the usual dog-shit trimmings. What a waste of exposure.

MPH